
Continuing that odd trend, it was the day Seton and I
finally arrived at a conclusion about my medical bills which concluded in that
this uninsured guy will have more standard pricing in future regular visits.
And somehow a realization that they had overbilled me by $35 and will likely
hold that for my next visit. They asked
if that was okay with me and I responded that I’d rather have it back since I prefer
money in my pocket rather than theirs. However, it was my second month in the
black in forever, even if that was less than $20 but progress is progress. I mean it rained last week and Kiana went and danced in it.
It was a day where I biked 55 miles, the longest I’ve biked
in almost a year preparing for the Livestrong challenge. I did a ride called
the dam loop and at the end of it, I was sure that they had missed an n at the
end of the first word with how that ride felt. People still give me a hard time
about Spartan, marathon, 5k Spartan, 100 mile bike ride trying to remind me
that if I would just focus on one, I’d do better at it. Let me state this, they
are right. There’s an old phrase that if you aim for nothing you’ll hit it
every time. I am aiming for better times in each of those events but I am not
aiming at it for so long that I don’t get to do the others. But what I am
aiming for did occur this month which was less cancer related deals, months
where those appointments are the exception, not the rule. I hope this is a
pattern that continues.

Somehow it was also a day became emotionally disturbingly
clear during this month that while I am a guy who used to have his life planned
10 years in advance, I really don’t put anything on the calendar anymore
besides school functions, medical appointments and sporting events. I was once
the guy who’d reserve international flights the day after they opened up and
who bought his house near a good school before his daughter was born. Even the idea that the Gusher marathon being
kind enough to start a scholarship fund for Kiana in light of my win was
thinking ahead. Well, that wasn’t my idea. The honest truth is that they
offered to help out with some current bills, medical or otherwise and I blew
them off but when they offered that scholarship fund who says, no don’t help my
kid out with a college scholarship? Perhaps, my day to day approach is
reflected in that I signed up for the gusher marathon 9 days before it happened
and had never heard of it 3 weeks before I won it.
Yesterday was also a day where I couldn’t find my anti
seizure medications for quite a while. I spent hours looking for them and I’m
still clueless as to how I misplaced them. I found them eventually but that
created some serious anger and anxiety about when I miss things that should be
so obvious and are so important.
Even the knight errant who sang “the wild winds of fortune
will carry me onward oh whither so ever they blow” still chased castles and
knighthood and didn’t just follow the wind. Between the Spartans and the
marathons, maybe I should go to Greece or maybe I should go to Spain and chase
Don Quixote or maybe get to that Brazil location I never got to because the
trip got hijacked by the hitchhiker in my brain… But I got to watch him sing
the impossible dream even thought it took me over half my life to do so. Today
I am going to the German Town of Fredicksburg outside of Austin for the first
time even though I’ve meant to for years.. I’m not quite as crazy as Don
Quixote was at his best nor quite as broken as he was when he was healed…
Perhaps it was sung best in his musical
A man can do quite anything,
Outfly the bird upon the wing,
Hold moonlight in his hand.
Outfly the bird upon the wing,
Hold moonlight in his hand.

It's prudent to recall,
A man with moonlight in his hand
Has nothing there at all.
And yet how lovely life would seem
If ev'ry man could weave a dream
To keep him from despair.
If ev'ry man could weave a dream
To keep him from despair.
So I’ll keep dreaming. And even if these are
just little dreams like having no appointments last month, Kiana trying maple
syrup, watching Man of La Mancha at a local playhouse and Fredicksburg are all
branching out to tilt at windmills and hold on to some of my crazy and sane
simultaneously which is better than the disease.
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