
Sometimes I have to learn from my own mistakes, from my own past poor decision making. But while I’m a fan of the old adage, learn from your mistakes, I’m a much much bigger proponent of learning from other people’s mistakes since I don’t have enough time to make them all on my own. However, what I keep trying to find ways where the example of what to follow is what to do rather than what not to do. Generally the bigger emphasis in world religions, the pictures up on the gym, the political circle is be like this person cause they did it right rather than don’t be like the person who did it wrong. Both are there but the emphasis I think is in the right place.

People have been said kind words about me handing out
finishers medals, with Gusher literally waiting until the last finisher. While
I appreciate the kindness, let me point out that the first time I ever handed a
medal to someone at the end of a race was a Spartan race in December of 2013,
about 3 months ago. The reason for that was because in my first Spartan,
Alexander Nicholas a guy who owns a gym in New York, is one of the highest
ranked Spartan guys (won his age group at the Championship and the charity race
the next day) (If you want to read his blog of our race together http://liveepicbeepic.com/texas-spartan-race-with-iram-leon/).
But after he’d slowed down to put up with a chump on the Spartan course, he had
the kindness to hand me the medal and somehow it was then I realized getting it
from someone who’d shared some of the journey with you made the finish line
that much greater. So when Kiana went to do her Spartan and my friend Megan
went to go do her first, I gave them both their medals.
That’s where the idea of volunteering at Gusher and Austin
to hand out medals came from. But not only that, the idea of sticking around
till the last finisher came from John Conley, the director of the Austin
Marathon whose body got much faster marathons than I ever have and whose brain
is still better than mine ever was makes it his tradition to finish with the
last finisher after he’s been up since the crack of dawn helping run the event.
And even though I’ve taken some compliments for going and
finishing with my mom on her first half marathon, I think she should be a lot
more proud that she pushed Kiana in a stroller before I did. But I hope that
some of this learning is passing on to my daughter. She did her first 5k a
little over a month ago and the
next race I was going to be doing with a stroller
(headforthecure.org) she realized when and I quote “oh it’s just a 5k, I’ll run
it next to you.” And I am pretty doggone excited about that; because of that decision, we had both an extra fun track workout together and an extra long time on the school playground. I am not a perfect parent; most days I
question if I’m even a good one. But I do know one thing, reflected in a
fortune cookie she got recently that went in the “keep it forever” pile. She’s
a lot more likely to follow my path than she is just what I say, whether it’s
good or bad. And honestly, it would have been nice to try to win that 5k but I
still believe that Kiana will one day realize how dorky her dad is and won’t be
asking me to walk or run with her anywhere so some things you enjoy while they
last. And when I saw her smiling at her school’s track and field day, I knew I
had to be getting parenting right at some level.
I've certainly struggled in life as we all do trying to find our own
path. I hope I don’t ever ecome a person
who tries to placate everyone and neglect the self basics because that would be
pathetic. I hope I’ve never been and never will be a person who put themselves above
all others without regard to anyone because we also have a word for that path,
socipathic. How to balance living for others and living for yourself is more a a dance than a march....While I’ve been accused of marching to the beat of my own drummer
(and yes I know that there are times where conformity is necessary and
important) I much prefer to march to my own banjo. But while I’ve danced many
styles, my least favorite is line dancing and my favorite are the ones where you flow with
others whether that be in a duet or a bigger group setting. And neither in
dancing nor in life does everything always line up but some of my happiest
memories are the privilege of getting to hang with some people when you get a
season or two in each other’s path or each other's dance floor. And there's some of those times I could have danced all night but even if things end, to me it's better than them not having happened.

So I am still trying to be led my example in many things… my
doctor’s appointments are 3 weeks away and they may let me start driving. But I
want to keep the lesson that maybe part of the reasons I am surviving cancer is because that medical
restriction made me move more and I am going to try to remember to use the car on only things I would have had
to get a ride for before because there are lots of people that minimize their
car use to move more period and have no medical restrictions. My confidence on
what I can do with memory issues and learning capacities is not high but
perhaps if that restriction goes away… it’s time to start pondering whether or
not I’d be a really good time to be the best janitor somewhere…

No comments:
Post a Comment