Focus Point

Every year we have a tradition of putting an ornament representing the most important event of the year on Christmas Eve. This year, well to anyone with even a damaged brain, it was obviously the wedding. I originally started to type that in as the marriage but that would make no sense as that's not going to be something that's just part of 2018.

I've written long about the boyfriend girlfriend scenario and the engagement and the wedding itself so I won't repeat myself too much. Oddly enough, the ornament was of a wedding cake, something we did not have but it was customized with the year and with Kiana-hand-drawn figures of our astrological symbols which were used regularly in wedding decor. There are little moments of the tradition that matter like who hangs up the ornaments, subtleties that probably no one but me cares about but this year Elaine hung it up, formally part of it all. Although last couple of year's the ornaments were things she was also a part of and I presume that will be true indefinitely.

What was the greatest about the wedding was of course the union. What was not too far down the peg was that it was a re-union. There were friends and family there from every stage in life. Invariably, some will no longer be a part of the future because change is life's constant but with zero exceptions there are no previous ornaments that represent connections that are entirely in the past.

It's been the best year of my life thanks to that union and those reunions. It's been tough to watch some things like how mean spirited some people's social media posts have become about the other political side (I've literally deleted hundreds of people on mine, including some who were deleted before and were still invited to the wedding). I still struggle with how we define other viewpoints more and more as evil; I fully grant some things I disagree with are evil but not nearly as many as I see described that way on social media, some of those are just wrong and some are just variations. I loved that in my wedding there were different nationalities, viewpoints, religions represented. I like a variety of people. It is perhaps why a Mexican born immigrant married the child of Taiwanese Immigrants and have traveled to 5 World Wonders. The porters of Peru were as important as the concierged meals in high end restaurants. I mean that in regards to their personhood not just their careers. I believe Elaine understands that and thus one more reason why I love her.

But it was the best Christmas season I can remember but then again I have a damaged memory. There were good parties and good moments and my parents came into town where I showed them many Austin Christmasty things including ones I'd never seen before. There was a moment where Kiana, Elaine and my mom were all showing just how thoroughly they were unimpressed with me. It was one of those "It's a wonderful life" but in reverse osmosis moments.

I ran with a variety of friends this week including Kiana, Elaine, the guy who married us, hair dressers, people who I only know through running and I walked with my dog. You know I get asked as recently as last Sunday randomly by strangers at a Christmas like events what it's like to have been on the news a few times. Even the wedding represented by that ornament made the news. Still, honestly none of those compare to the fact that the little things like those walks and runs and traditions that predate my birth and my parents birth (so eternity as far as I'm concerned). Those were new once I suppose but even if I didn't have a damaged memory the only way to believe is to assume the story tellers and history makers did a reasonably acceptable job. I think they did but I am not worried if anyone besides the people who I've spent some Christmases with do and that I remember them. That's my focus and I'm glad we got to hang out with so many of them in August and with several of them at different times in life and throughout the year.