Thursday, January 22, 2015

When It Rains

I sit here writing on one of those days where it's pouring rain and that shifted some of the plans for this morning making it lonelier than I expected. That's called life sometimes but I tried to be relatively happy. The runner's world article came out and it's still overwhelming and surprising that the slow news day continues. It refers people to read my blog which a few of the pieces have done which makes me nervous because a) their writing is always so much better than mine and b) while it's a public blog it's really thoughts that anyone with a regular brain would share more privately and what if all these people figure out that I'm just a guy with a damaged brain who likes to run?

Still, I appreciated the piece for many many reasons but probably highest on the list is that this is by far the most comprehensive piece done that tells a totality of the story not just a small piece (I'm not complaining about any other piece; I'm amazed any piece has been done much less more than one). It's once again been brought up that I should write a book, once again with a couple of people who work in the world of writing but I've shrugged that off knowing I tell my story here and remind them that the plot line of one foot in front of the other is pretty lame isn't it? Still when Pamela LeBlanc who wrote the piece said she gets to interview someone actually important, Bill Bryson from A Walk in the Woods, I let her know that it was he who was the lucky one in the interview (though I am amused that she continues to interview people known for putting one foot in front of the other; she's obviously a good writer with no capacity for ADD if that keeps her intrigued).

I am still intrigued that with only one exception not one media pieces has mentioned the custody issues from a couple of years ago. While relationships and divorce and custody proceedings are usually complicated, the reason it intrigues me is that the custody thing was about one thing and one thing alone and it was whether or not I was fit to parent with my medical condition since they were arguing that I wasn't a safe parent due to the seizures and cancer with the literally stating we don't think you're a bad father and specifically putting in legal language that I did reckless things like running with Kiana in a stroller for races. Perhaps it's because that yearlong process was probably the most emotionally tolling thing in this story that I can't quite make sense why it's skipped over.

Anyway, with that said, I am grateful to be able to still put that one foot in front of the other. While I'm aware there will come a day where my fastest races are behind me, I continue to dare to dream that my best foot forward is still ahead of me. I've definitely been getting whooped in crossfit I try to get in bikini shape for the Spartan cruise. It's intriguing to watch people who are older, younger, shorter, taller, different gender than me whoop me on the exercises sometimes while doing more weight than me with smaller bodies but this is the first time I'm working with weights in my entire life but I'll keep trying. I've even set up a spear throw in my backyard since my lack of accuracy is what's caused me the most burpees.

But even as I am excited about that race or thinking about the half, I just got even more excited about the Miracle Match Marathon weekend. The stroller races started after I did Boston and my brother, mother and daughter cheered. I've now gone back and done a race beside each of them. At the recent half I won both of my parents were there cheering but at this one, both of my parents are doing the 5k as are Kiana and I. While the plan is to run it next to Kiana, I'm tempted to let each of us do it at our own pace and then go back to finishing with each other but no matter what I am incredibly grateful that for the first time ever all three generations are doing the same race on their own two feet with no one in a stroller. While I imagine that won't get anywhere near the attention that the wins have, to me that means the family business is about to get a whole lot better. Very much to me, to my parents and I hope to Kiana, it's worth celebrating a whole lot more. I accessorized my Livestrong bracelet with my four letter word hope yesterday and it's at events like that where another 4 letter word, love comes into play that keeps hope alive. There's probably lots more words like patience and saintly that could be used to describe my parents if for no other reason than they put up with raising me.

While my speed has caught some people's attention, I've always said running is my therapy. I'm not sure if I'm running to something or from something but that something is likely death. If I'm running to it, I'm known for being relatively fast so we can say that's why I may die young. But I'm also known for endurance, having ran near 50 miles last week so maybe while death will eventually catch up, it'll sure have had to have hung in for the long haul before it got there. But either way I'll be so glad I didn't do it alone. Yesterday Kiana did her last run of 2 miles in a trail workout where as is our custom we start together, high five when we go opposite ways and then finish racing. It was raining and there was a time where I would have seen two people doing that and gone what kind of crazy people do that but yesterday, well yesterday I was glad we were the crazy people (for all the worrisome people we came home and showered and got in warm jammies and did art immediately after).

So I hope I continue to live the mantra that you have to work on the relationships you want to keep. I'm having lunch with two friends today who were among the first to be there in the hospital and high on the pecking order. We've traded some rather fun emails getting ready for it, some of which will never be repeated in front of my mother or perhaps anyone. But one of them asked if I could pick them up rather than him biking to the lunch like he usually does because of the rain. I biked most of the last 4 years or got rides due to the driving restriction so I couldn't resist making the joke that he was laming for having to depend on rides from people on bad weather days. Showing why he's my friend, without missing a beat, he said "We're all onto you: you need rides when gas is over $3.00 a gallon but now that it's cheap your seizures are magically cured."

So I take back that initial complain about a rainy day... we definitely need it and while when it rains, I don't mind being lonely, that was not today. Today, I got to walk my cute little girl with an umbrella to school today, I had lunch with some great friends, got to hear about my parents signing up for the Miracle Match 5k.  And in just a little while, I'll be listening to some music while I run in the rain with the Ship of Fools (it's the fact we run in any weather that is the origin of that name and why they're my kind of people). So if today is what rainy days are like, through the run, I'll be singing and after I'll likely be dancing in the rain.


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