Friday, March 9, 2012


There are times I wonder who is who or where we're at in this fairy tale of my life but yesterday as I met with the neurologist I remember why I picked him because brilliantly but also very quickly yesterday he shoots off many things I didn’t know. I am on keppra because it’s processed through the kidneys not the liver, and despite the fact there’s a drug he likes better he doesn’t put me on it because of how much sweating I do and my saline likely having wide variety. We do some blood work and because no one saw it, there’s apparently a couple of things it could have been with things coming up inconclusive (it might have been ironically something I watched one of my friends have as they removed my staples). We spend some serious effort trying to trigger a seizure during an EEG with me having to breathe really hard in and out my mouth for 3 minutes (not the funnest thing I've done breathing hard), causing my fingers to tingle and also by flashing me with many strobe lights. Both, thankfully, fail and after some discussion, no driving restriction is placed on me though because of the blood work and the fact that I’ve doubled on medication I’m told to take it easy for a few more days (interestingly enough I’m given a warning to be careful about the fact that it might increase my temper for a short while until it absorbs quickly reminding me of events a year ago, the first time we’d doubled it that quickly). We acknowledge quietly that while we hope it was something else that it well could be one of those stupid invisible branches.

It turns out that somehow I had missed one page of the neuropsychological and we are actually going to do some neuropsychological rehab starting soon, to give me some compensatory strategies (let the jokes begin about what I’m compensating for). And it turns out that part of the reason we have that Boston deal is because unlike anything else when you’re finishing a marathon with all you’ve got certain things get released into your bloodstream that don’t necessarily mess well with some drugs, the same reason Duke wanted to wait for the surgery to be about a week and half way out. But I can get on the road again even if my pickup line of inviting people to have a slumber party is going to be less effective.

I came home last night both grateful and flabbergasted. I may have had a few more Oreos with Kiana both of the last two nights despite it not being the 100th anniversary. She’s not complaining and I promise we won’t make a hobby of it but she sits and helps me pick and add a couple of songs to the Boston playlist. Learning from past mistakes every one of the songs is either about good things about the present or looking forward to the future. But with one particular song my friend Zach sent me, we spend some time dancing, Cinderella: . I break down and cry from the news that things are good as they can be right now , from the privilege of dancing with her and because of the lyrics:

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

Kiana wiped away a couple of the tears, offered me that Oreo and said let's keep dancing. She’s coming to Boston with me and I’ll be leaving all my might out there. But it occurs to me that this little girl who has loved way too many of the Disney princesses, that maybe I should try to pull a trip off to Disneyland before school starts next year so that those imaginary princesses can have the privilege of meeting a real one. And I hope I make midnight.


  1. That's just awesome man! Those princesses of ours have a way of totally changing the game don't they? I hope you make it to Disney. Hannah's been wanting to go and we're juggling cards to see when that might happen for her.

  2. Beautiful, friend. Kiana is lucky to have you as her daddy, and she knows that. You've already made midnight.