I sit here blogging at 3:00 in the morning which shows how
well I’m sleeping I suppose. The nightmare scenario described previously in
this blog begins… call it foreshadowing if you will or self-fulfilling
prophecies. But today, of all things while at Livestrong talking about the gala
(I’d been trying to get her mother to let Kiana go but she said they hadn’t in
anyway helped Kiana) and seeing a poster they were signing for my mom, I got an
email with a scan of legal service that said that we were having an emergency
meeting on October 19th, of all days the day of the Livestrong Gala.
( All other memory issues aside, these connections to Livestrong are
intriguing. I put off surgery to run their first marathon. Kiana’s mom would
literally leave the night they opened their facility, their bike ride makes
this new car restriction easier and their Gala and the custody conversation
It literally states and you know how private I am and either
way this is public record: “His health impairs his ability to take care of
their daughter’s parties in a safe manner. Your client has had a seizure and
was found on the side of the road. The parties child is only 5 years old and if
he has a seizure while caring for her, it could be very dangerous.” It talks
about my neurological problems resulting
from my brain cancer and that I should only have supervised visits and that she
be designated as the person who has the
right to designate the primary residence of the child.
I sat down an attorney and how did I not go into that or the
medical field… these guys know how to bill you… but I understand why the
professions are important and both attorneys, as I hear is typical, is asking
that the losing parties pay for both fees. She thinks that it will look suspect
since these conditions were there before the divorce and that it refers to a
recent collapse of which anyone who reads this read about it the day after it
happened back in March 7 months ago. It was simply explained to me that it may
look petty that the reference to my collapse is billed as recent but the fact
that I am more than typically capable of seizure has had children removed in
the past but it is the hope that because there has never been a time I’ve been
secretive or reckless that it won’t matter.
As I did the day I was served with the divorce petition, I
skipped the workout today. It’s odd, a psychology major, even being aware of
many things that are hoping and coping mechanisms… I put off surgeries to run
marathons, I sneak out of hospitals to go running and even after I am found
collapsed, I get up and run 15 miles two days later but when the possibility of
losing my family, my wife at the time and my daughter now… that stops the
drive.
Things will not get settled for good on October 19th
but they’ll be reset for a long long time like sometime into next year. I’ve
let the Livestrong guys know that if I am told that morning that I won’t be
living with my daughter and only will be allowed supervised visits because of
this that I won’t be making the gala. As the video clearly states, it was for
her that I was able to keep it together and well… if it’s because of this that
I have incredibly limited access to this, let’s just be clear, that’s not going
to be a night where I should be socializing. If you read this, I think it’s
clear I was never fighting just to avoid death but rather to keep living….
It’s 3:30 in the morning and I am writing this because I am
awake in a nightmare scenario. Hopefully this passes and I am back to trying to
get my grandma to sign up for her first 5k in 10 days but if not well… then I
don’t know what to say. I missed the workout last night but Kiana is having a
playdate tonight and we aren’t missing that. I’ve said that for a while, I don’t
know how much time I have left with her but I have tried to shield her from the
effects of this as best as I know how.
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