Still Running

I think a job offer is going to come that would require me to work from 10-9 Monday through Thursday. I need to pay the bills but I tried to talk to Kiana about it who was adamant that she never wants to move and somehow that is my driving factor, my compass, my north star. So I started applying for other type of jobs that were more regular hours that would let me be with her when she’s not in school and there was a temporary position with an emergency management services. I literally worked in this type of job for years in college but they had me take an online test and while I’m not sure how other people do… I realized it felt less than an honest to take a job where missing auditory memory recall issues could mishandle someone’s emergency because I didn’t do what I would have done a few years ago. I know this sounds strange but literally it’s better in person to talk to someone. My IQ went up, other things went up when this got removed but it’s not the right thing to do, even if it pays the bills to potentially damage other people’s families to protect your own.

Still, he recommended some things from memory and was glad to hear that I was still running. He recommended some different things and I acknowledged to him some memory issues like the fact that there was literally someone who I’ve known for the better part of 2 years though I met them shortly after the surgery and I couldn’t remember their name and everyone thought I was just joking around because well her name is the same as my previous spouses. My favorite part of the email exchange was "I am glad to hear you are still running. I am not near the runner you are, but I certainly enjoy my runs and they help me with my thinking. I would encourage you to continue to run." That certainly helps me feel better about the track workout last night. Either way, he formally made the recommendation that we only need to do yearly MRI’s. Tomorrow I meet with my original neurosurgeon and hope that we’re all on the same page… and if we are do we celebrate, get drunk, go home and breathe? I don’t know but either way I’m running Saturday morning.

I got reprimanded about how I need to be more patient with the job situation that these things take time especially if you haven’t interviewed or created a resume in years and weren’t expecting it… and I want to be but I’ve just been chipping away at my rope for a while and desperate times call for desperate measures… but I don’t even know what those are…  What are the right measures here? I think about selling my car and that would buy me a couple of months? Get into debt? 

I have gotten accolades for running and raising money through athleticism and the kid who was super nerdy still struggles with this being such a big part of his identity… but I’ve gotta get back online and apply for some jobs and then I’m off to do a track workout.