I wonder sometimes if I make these athletic events such big mile markers because they have mile markers themselves. This century ride was a serious privilege. As I checked into the hotel I crashed into Amy Dodson (http://blog.livestrong.org/2010/04/23/amy-dodson-one-leg-one-lung-100-miles/) who I had met briefly in Austin. We agreed to go running the next day and she wanted to both run and cycle longer than I had intended to since she’s training for an ironman. I accompanied her and was impressed… she has a great humility to her. I posted her blog on my facebook and my mom who knows I’ve ran 5 marathons and 5 half marathons was finally inspired to sign up for her first half…
I went to the booths to pick up my packet and met the UT
kids from the Austin 4000 (http://www.texas4000.org/)
and was thoroughly impressed with the character and maturity of these kids who
are riding 4000 miles to fight cancer. Somehow the fact that I was going to
ride 100 the next day seemed a lot smaller… But it was just a weekend of great characters,
people who had formed different teams from the area, who were riding in honor
of someone, in memory of someone, as survivors themselves. I ran and rode with
someone with Amy who is missing part of one leg, I met with someone who rode a
very modified bike so that they were able to because of some of their medical
issue. I met a woman who was not a cyclist at all but whose son was a serious
one who was riding 100 miles on tandem with her to celebrate her success over
breast cancer (he was a serious enough cyclist to where on the ride he would
pass me going up hill).
I’ve done some Livestrong and Brain cancer related events
for a while now… trying to “pay back” the people who saved my life… but this
was the first weekend where I felt more comfortable with this being part of my
permanent identity. Some of the awkwardness and uncomfortableness I’ve had
seemed to be far more faded and I tried to embrace two big parts of the speech
that Amy shared… to those who much is
given, much is expected and our scars are a symbol of our courage. I mentally rode
with my aunt who passed away from cancer in mind, with a sticker to remind me
of the little girl who I’d taught to bike through this process. I even had some
fun with it and because of a certain donation I had to shave my legs. I’ve
always had plenty of respect for the female gender but it grew exponentially
with 4 razors and over an hour to take away 30 years worth of hair…
Like I do before every event… I laid out my gear Friday night.
When this all started, showing some scars which are still healing but much closer
than they ever have been, I had joked that this bike that was lent to me was about
what an engagement ring should cost so I was committed. Then I realized that in
the gear there was something old (the gear I’d been training with), something
new (the new Livestrong helmet ), something borrowed (the bike itself) and
something blue (my road id medical bracelet), it seemed like proper gear to be
having at the end of the training and the beginning of the road. My heart is
still healing from all of the messes from the last year… Interestingly enough I
met someone who had made “gold ring bands” out of the Livestrong bracelet. I
remembered the comment I’d made that if I ever propose again it would be with
Livestrong gear… she immediately gave me a new ring. I’ve put in a safe place
for now.
The ride itself was both easier and tougher than I expected.
It started out very cold and I shook for the first 10 miles… one of the Texas 4000
girls offered me their jacket… it took all the machismo I had to say no. I didn’t
have music like I do with running and after mile 71 each stroke was longer than
I had ever done. I was afraid of stopping since I was afraid of not being able
to get back on the bike but I didn’t want to make rookie mistakes so I rode
with various people till about the halfway mark because they were smart and
took the power stops and I just refilled the water bottles…I was averaging
about 17.5 miles an hour for that first half… I rode with a girl from the Texas
4000 for the first 20 miles, with a 6 year survivor for another 10, with
someone who had so many names in memory of on the back of him for 10 more. I
didn’t feel the need to stop at mile 60 but was out of water but one of the
kids from the Texas 4000 said they were going to stop anyway and traded me
water bottles. So there was essentially no stopping in the second half. 
Then riding on my own, trusting the training that Chris
Brewer had provided I kept stepping it up the second half to finish in a total
time of 5:20 about a 19 mile an hour overall pace. I had set a goal of
finishing between 5:30 and 6:00 to have a good time but the bigger goal,
learning the lesson from Boston, was to have a “good time.”For the first time
ever (I tried to take the turns and downhills fast and not be too scared of the
helmet not staying in “new” condition. I pulled off both almost only hitting
the break once).I loved the ride but the muscles hurt…sometimes love don’t feel
like it should because it hurts so good. I went in fist in the air and
screaming to my heart’s content about finishing my first century. It was
awesome. 
I am going to miss the bike and the cycling… but it gave me
some quiet reassurance that like new life with a disease you never saw coming
and life changes left and right you would have bet tons of money against… that
maybe just maybe something new that you never saw coming and couldn’t possibly
imaging learning how to do, much less do well, can go okay. I thanked the
Livestrong staff and said something that I needed and need to acknowledge that
if I had listened to more of their guidance like turning to one of their connections
for the emotional success of both my family and me and not just the logistical
and medical items, I’d have done far more right. Life has changed and will
probably continue to. It’s an incredibly unpredictable adventure where I’ve had
to learn skills I never knew I was missing and rode through things I never
expected… and each one that was successful was where I let more experienced
people guide me. This was a skill I didn’t have until recently (and that I am
nowhere near being good at), a course I’d never seen some with new friends and
some with old ones all due to the second chance that I’ve been given. A rather
big one in my opinion… I hope and pray I can do what’s required with it. 
No comments:
Post a Comment