DNF

The day I broke 5 minute was 104. I mentally decided that the heat couldn’t possibly defeat over just one mile. Everyone after said it was impressive that I broke five period but especially in that heat. I didn’t notice the heat until well after the run at which point I coughed like there was no tomorrow but tomorrow came…

I’ve been watching the Olympics fairly consistently; I’ve even had the privilege of meeting a couple of those athletes. People have to listen to their bodies and the body apparently doesn’t let you do what you train for sometimes though that should be second guessed (http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/08/09/oly-health-extremes-day-idUSL6E8J94R120120809) . The one thing I just am trying so hard to avoid is something those athletes had to do, DNF, did not finish. 

I had gone Saturday night the neighbor brought over a friend of hers to say hello. He also had issues in his left temporal lobe and, before she brought him over, she said he’s had a few rum and cokes so if he sounds so off it’s probably that, not anything in his left temporal lobe. He was a happy drunk and he started telling me about how he used to be a Halliburton engineer and make tons of money, lost his insurance, the bills have piled up, he is making $8 an hour and was frustrated that they never let him get overtime. I had done something during the run that morning that had me leaning on one leg and he asked if I’d also lost my balance. I misunderstood what he said and thought he was talking about other things and almost answered way too heavy of an emotional but then he pointed at my legs. As he kept telling his story, a story similar to one I’ve listened to from a few people, I wasn’t prepared for it. The rest have happened planned or random but this one was while I was hanging out and watching Kiana ride her bike. And his left temporal lobe worked well enough to where he noticed that I wasn’t taking it well because he said  hey pick your head up, this isn’t your fault.  I only picked it up briefly. It may have taken the rest of the night to get it back up. I was hanging out with a cute girl who, in that protect everyone else from my disease mode that I get into, definitely picked up that I was off. In that mode of protecting anyone from ever getting to connected to the guy who has this… it ended within 48 hours. I am not quite sure I share those instincts that ANY day above ground is better than any day below it…

I watched the Olympic marathon at an Austin Runners Club and watched the winner of the Austin Marathon have an injury where he couldn’t finish and he looked a bit sad to have his first marathon where he DNF (did not finish). There were some injuries on some shorter courses where people limped and kissed hurdles but those were shorter distances. I broke a 5 minute mile but I also have a marathon I want to get done. You can’t limp for 26 miles.

Still, today I went out and ran to the brainpower 5k playlist, a playst entitled IQ, something I’m still trying to keep, to raise to push, to believe that somehow the best days are still coming, a belief that really is hard these days. 

I applied for a job at the American Cancer Society yesterday. I applied for jobs today at the city of Austin leading recreational sports for shorts. They may be a long shot and I thought maybe it was too much to dare to dream of but…  I really am trying to avoid ever having a DNF on my record. I also don’t want an I don’t try. I’ve always said that I’d rather regret things I have done than things I haven’t done… but you can only make mistakes once, the second time it’s a choice. Or to quote Arthur Miller…maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.